Saturday, August 10, 2013

Area Woman Can’t Locate Husband’s Penis Entire Summer, Locates Daughter’s Left Pinky Toe in Camp Picture



Great Neck, NY (Aug 10) -  While she can find her daughter’s finger or toe sticking into any picture on the Camp Huron Lake website, local mother Linda Cohen-Freidberg, 41, oddly has been unable find her husband Jeff’s penis for the past seven weeks.   Jeff, a 43 year-old stockbroker, has gone nearly two months without his partner of 15 years touching his average-sized penis.

Linda, a stay at home mother, has an uncanny eye for finding her daughter, Sydney, in any picture.  “She’s like Sherlock Holmes the way she inspects each shot.  If there are a few hundred pictures uploaded on any given day, she can spend up to ten hours scrutinizing them all.  A few weeks ago she pointed out what she thought was a footprint from Syd’s rain boots on the baseball field and “Liked” it on Facebook.  You think Syd is the only 11 year-old at camp with $100 Hunter boots?” lamented Jeff.

While the camp picture phenomenon has garnered press in blogs and newspapers around the country, few mothers have eyes that can match those of Cohen-Friedberg.  Her seemingly non-descript brown peepers have the ability to scope out backgrounds up to two and a half miles yet, at night in bed, can’t seem to be able to reach over to find where Jeff’s penis is.   “It’s very, very dark in our room at night and my eyes are overly strained from looking through all the photos.  Today there was a pic with about 300 kids in it so my eyes are really tired,” explained the woman with near x-ray vision.

Jeff’s penis, which has been in the same exact place on his body for all 43 years of his life, doesn’t seem likely to be touched any time soon.  Following the end of the summer, Camp Huron Lake’s photography staff posts thousands of pictures that did not make the initial cut for the camp website.  “I’m hoping by Columbus Day or maybe Black Friday she’ll finally give my penis the attention it deserves,” said a hopeful yet defeated Jeff.  

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