Boy
Remains Traumatized, Yet Relaxed
Huron, Pa (Aug 7) – Similar to so many adolescent girls
experiencing menses for the first time while away at summer camp, Camp Huron
Lake Senior Boy Josh Weinstein, 12, had his first ever nocturnal emission last
night in Bunk 21. Weinstein, from
Melville, NY, woke up from an 8 hour long sleep to discover that the erotic
dream he had was indeed semi-real.
Confused as to what transpired and knowing his father,
Mitch, wouldn’t be coming up for another 11 days for visiting day, Josh sought
out the guidance of 20 year-old counselor Ian Davies, one of Camp America’s
finest imported British counselors. “I
told the lad that havin’ a ‘wet willie’ dream was no big deal. In fact, it’s brilliant when it happens,” a
sympathetic Davies explained. “I
remember telling me old man the first time I had one and he told me mum. Me mum couldn’t look at me for a fortnight.” Co-counselor Jake Schneider, a 19 year-old
virgin, was equally supportive of Josh’s coming of age moment. “I told Joshie
that having a wet dream is a great thing for a guy. You blow a load with no effort and don’t even
have to take a chick out on a date. Win
win in my book.”
Weinstein’s dream has been the subject of rumors since he
confided in bunkmate Jordan Horowitz.
Horowitz claims Weinstein told him in confidence that his emission
occurred just as he was about to get his high score in Temple Run but other
bunkmates say that Weinstein claims to have dreamt about a three-way with
Victoria Justice from Nickelodeon’s “Victorious” and Horowitz’s 16-year old
sister, CIT Rachel. Weinstein defends himself. “What was I going to say to JH?
That I came just before I was about to bang his sister? We’ve been buddies for years and I don’t want
to ruin that. I should have just substituted
his sister with someone like Debbie Ryan from "Jessie" or something.”
Weinstein, like most 12 year olds at Camp Huron Lake,
normally does not change his underwear upon getting into fresh clothes for the
new day. “I was unsure whether to keep
on my underwear as a badge of honor or change into a fresh pair. I just need to make sure to put them all the
way at the bottom of the laundry bag.”
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