Lake Huron, PA (Aug 10) – With the exception of a single
night Goldie slept in the infirmary, he and best friend, Winey, 10, have been
absolutely inseparable the entire summer.
Whether it is on the soccer field, in the dining room, or in the pool,
the two first-year campers have barely left each other’s side yet neither boy
has any clue whatsoever what the other’s real name is.
The Bunk D duo have absolutely no idea what any of the boys
in their bunk are named as a matter of fact.
The rest of their bunkmates include Bobble Head, Greenie, Blue, Rudy,
Wolfie, Dee-Vine, Moose, Archie, Big Guy, Champ, and Diablo. While most nicknames given by bunk counselors
are variations of their semetic last names, some are based on hair color,
favorite toy or activity, or clothing choice on the first day of camp. In very rare circumstances, some boys will
get completely random nicknames when they don’t have a single defining quality
or name trait that stands out.
Winey and Goldie met only minutes after getting off the bus
at camp and instantly formed what is now a life-long bond. Although they introduced themselves to one
another, clearly, like most of the male population, neither bothered to listen
to the other’s reply. Unfortunately, it
may be too late to ask each other their names.
“If I ask Winey what his real name is he may not think I think of him as
my best friend,” contemplated Goldie, 10, “I’m pretty sure his name may be Jake
or Jacob. I guess I’ll wait until the
division list is sent home on the last day of camp to find out.”
Winey, who like Goldie, hails from the NY/NJ area, also
shares his best friend’s angst. “I know
at the end of the year we get a list of kids in our group. Unfortunately, there’s a Goldstein, two
Goldbergs, a Goldenberg, and a plain old Gold in this division. There’s no way in hell he’ll figure out who I
am because there’s a Weinstein, Weinberg, Weinstock and a Weiner. I wish my last name was Smith or Johnson so
at least my name could have been a little original at camp,” lamented Winey
knowing it will probably be 45 more weeks before he and Goldie would see each
other again. “I just can’t take the risk
of having my mom call the wrong Goldie since two of the other kids are real
douche bags. Imagine a sleep over with
them???”
Bunk D counselor Ryan Aaronson was absolutely no help to the
boys or their families either. On
Visiting Day, Aaronson was sure to give generic, stock answers to any questions
asked by his campers’ parents. The
third-year counselor’s replies of “He’s a great kid”, “He gets along well with
the others” and “Your son is one of my favorites” were received by parents with
warm, relieved smiles. Aaronson admitted
to losing the bunk roster on the second day of camp and resorted to making up
names for two of the boys whose name he couldn’t remember. “I had a tough time the first few days
remembering which kid I was calling “Big Guy” and which was “Champ”. Once the other kids started calling them the
names, it kinda stuck,” explained Aaronson.
Winey is already counting the days down to the summer of
2014. “I can’t wait to go back to
camp. I just hope when we get our bunk
requests, I put down the right Goldie, not the asshole who I think stole my
Rainbow Loom bracelet.”
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