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Monday, July 28, 2014

Lozenge Cure for Heat Stroke, Fractured Pelvis, Torn ACL at Camp Infirmary

Lake Huron, PA (July 28, 2014) – It seems as the summer season rolls along, more and more campers are visiting the Camp Huron Lake Infirmary, lead by head nurse Rita Margolitz, RN.  Margolitz, a forty year veteran of the rustic oasis that is Huron Lake, has seen every injury, ailment, and sickness known to man.  And for every single camper that steps through the swinging door of the infirmary, she has a simple, yet unbelievably effective method of treatment: the throat lozenge. 

The throat lozenge is a medicated tablet intended to be dissolved slowly in the mouth to temporarily stop coughs and lubricate and soothe irritated tissues of the throat possibly from a cold or the flu.  Lozenges can be purchased over the counter at any of a number of pharmacies throughout North America.

Her methods have been questioned for years by the New England Journal of Medicine but what cannot be are the results Margolitz has been getting for four decades in the camping world.  Some of the world’s leading health care experts call this Orthodox Jewish nurse’s approach “completely and unequivocally unorthodox”.  Others think she may be on a string of luck or the recipient of Devine intervention for close to half a century.  But to Margolitz, diagnosis and treatment are quite simple. 

“When someone walks through the infirmary door, I go through a quick checklist.  First, I lecture them on the dangers of smoking by pointing out several dated posters that sarcastically show how glamorous and sophisticated smoking is, then we discuss the patient’s ailment.  After that, I go into my top drawer, pop a lozenge through the foil packaging and administer it to the patient.  Usually, the camper will watch some TV in an air conditioned room and within an hour or so they’re back to normal and on their way,” explained Margolitz.  “There’s really not much to it.”

The list of ailments treated so far this summer by a lozenge include a 104 degree fever, strained ligaments in a camper’s elbow, a torn ACL after a fall from a balance beam, a ruptured spleen, menstrual cramps, and the West Nile virus.

In the second week of the summer, Inter Boy Jake Gerstein, 12, from Marlboro, NJ shattered his femur attempting to jump from his top bunk to bunkmate’s Jake Schwartz’s bed approximately twenty-two feet away. He was rushed to the infirmary by his counselors and bunkmates, all concerned that Gerstein would pass out on the way.  After a healthy dose of lozenges, he spent the night in a cold sweat as his upper leg turned purple due to insufficient blood flow to the area and he developed a near deadly fever.  Drifting in and out of consciousness, a second round of lozenges was given in the middle of the night and he was released the next morning by Margolitz who had declared him “cured”.   “My thigh bone feels better than it did before I broke it,” said Gerstein.  “I think I may be able dunk now.”

Super Senior Boy camper Jake Shapiro, complaining of a sore throat, recently returned to his bunk after a quick trip to see Nurse Margolitz.  “I was expecting a lozenge but for some reason she put a knee brace on my elbow…not really sure why but I feel great,” a confused and clear-throated Shapiro commented. 

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