Classmates Think Rosenstein is Going “Camping” for Entire Summer

North Massapequa, LI (May 1) – Even though he’s been attending Camp Huron Lake since 3^rd Grade, 14 year-old Jake Rosenstein’s school friends, Joey (“Joey D”) D’Andressio and Shawn (“SMac”) McMurray still believe Rosenstein spends seven weeks and two days in a tent in the woods somewhere in a remote part of Pennsylvania.  For years, his two childhood chums always wonder why Rosenstein would rather “rough it” in the woods instead of hanging out at McMurray’s above-ground pool all summer.

Like many non-Jews, D’Andressio and McMurray believe summer camp involves living in tents, eating meals cooked over a campfire started only by rubbing sticks together, hiking for miles, bathing and washing clothing in a local stream and sleeping under the stars.  But the boys couldn’t be more wrong about what goes on at Jake’s sleepaway camp.  

Sure there are campfires almost every week but these campfires are started by using a Duraflame log strictly supervised by a local member of the volunteer fire department.  Once the campfire is in full force, campers circle around the 4-foot high perimeter barrier and roast their marshmallows using a pole vault-sized surgical steel rod.   Camp Director Marty Feldstein believes safety around the campfire simply cannot be overlooked.  “About thirty years ago, one of our junior boy campers was making a S’More on the campfire when an ember landed on his EG’s.  Needless to say his summer was ruined although I always wondered why a boy would wear socks like that.”

While his friends every summer believe that going camping is the perfect time for Rosenstein, a bit short for his weight, to take off those extra pounds gained during the school year.  But Camp Huron Lake’s dining schedule is not exactly eating a few bowls of fire-roasted baked beans twice a day.  Starting with a breakfast including either pancakes or waffles, home fries, bacon substitute strips, assorted cold cereals and a variety of beverages, campers eat until they have enough nourishment for a day full of fun and exciting activities.  After a mid-morning snack, the campers return for a hot lunch buffet which consists of the special of the day along with three types of pasta with five different sauces, ten organic deli meats, a 75-foot long salad bar, and a frozen yogurt area with more choices than any one of the thirteen yogurt stores in Rosenstein’s Long Island hometown. 
 

After a few afternoon activities the campers are treated to fruit and homemade cookies and freshly pasteurized milk from the local organic farm.  This snack break is followed by a few more activities then the campers return to the Indoor/Outdoor dining pavilion for dinner served by a tuxedo-clad wait staff.   As nice as this sounds, an affected Rosenstein begs to differ.  “The eating situation isn’t as great as it seems.  A few nights ago, our bunk waiter forgot to my counselor’s Pinot Noir and all hell broke loose.  Sometimes living off the land for two months can be very difficult.”

D’Andressio and McMurray also cannot figure out how Rosenstein and his favorite clothes come back in pristine condition after a rugged summer of the outdoor elements.  “We figured between the rain and the mud and sleeping on the floor of a filthy tent, Rosey would come home and be a filthy mess but we meet him at the camp bus, and he smells like some of that Pot Porri.  Fuckin’ guy looks like he spent the summer at the Brentwood Country Club,” cried a flabbergasted McMurray.  While not exactly a country club, McMurray’s sentiments about Camp Huron Lake aren’t far from the truth. 

Each bunk is equipped with two vintage ceramic-tiled shower stalls to give the children a rustic outdoorsy feel.  Both stalls have ten pressurized nozzles to ensure that even the dirtiest camper will get somewhat clean.  The campers are wrapped up in Egyptian cotton towels by the bunk bathroom attendant before moving to his/her own walk-in closet.  

Dirty clothing is cleaned in the 24-hour on-camp laundromat while delicate items such as basketball, football, and baseball jerseys are laundered by the Camp America dry cleaning staff.  While some may find these creature comforts over the top, Rosenstein can’t overstate the importance of having these facilities at his beck and call.  “Last summer, I got a dime-sized drop of imported Belgian vanilla ice cream on the bottom of my white camp shirt.  Thank god the camp laundry is open day and night.  Can you imagine how embarrassing that would be to walk around in a shirt like that!”

Upon seeing his home friends at the end of the summer, Rosenstein is peppered with questions on his camping odyssey.   He always simply replies, “It’s rough out there for seven weeks but this kind of experience helps transform a boy into a man.”